Plan Holiday with Grandma

Soon there will be Mother’s Day and all the media are full of gift ideas. Chocolates, cards, flowers, spa packages, theatre tickets, dinner out, perfume. All very nice, but what do mothers really want and need? As a mother I can tell you this: they want to be noticed and appreciated. And not just on Mother’s Day. Is it too much to ask?

If your children are still small I bet you get a lot of hugs and kisses. But you also yearn for some time for yourself, away from all this business. If your children are growing up (aka pre-teens or teenagers) I am sure you have more time, but you also get a lot of attitude, and you yearn for the times when things were simpler. After the children leave home you have a lot more free time and you just yearn to see them more often. Now you would give a lot just to have more of their time in person, or on the phone.

It seems that life has its cycles and we are never really satisfied with what we have right at this moment. Everyday mundane tasks take away from our glory of motherhood. They pass by unnoticed. Laundry is being done and meals are served. Mothers’ work is never done, there is always more and more to do. We can only hope that someone someday will look back and appreciate our efforts.

So think for a minute about your own ageing mother. She would like to hear from you (and grandchildren) more often, too. I am sure you had your disagreements (who hadn’t) and sometimes she drives you crazy with her old-fashioned views. But maybe she still deserves appreciation from you. Give her more time with yourself and your children. Holidays with your mom could be the best thing for both of you. So when you are planning your next trip invite grandma along. I guarantee that this would be the best gift for Mother’s Day she could ever get. It doesn’t have to be an expensive trip. Camping trip would do just fine. If you have a trailer or RV there is always room on the pull-out couch. If you are tent-camping, then unless she is a veteran camper, she may want to stay in a nearby motel (it depends on her age and physical fitness level). But she could still spend the days with you at the campsite. Grandma can always help with the kids or with cooking, while you have some of that time to yourself. It is her chance to bond with your kids and they will love it. Relax and let her be the boss for a while.

Last summer I spent 2 months at my trailer together with my mom and my son (my husband had to work, but he visited on the weekends). Sure, there were ups and downs, nobody is perfect. But as adults we can realize that what annoys us the most in our parents, are also the traits that we see in ourselves. If grandma seems bossy and judgemental, you are probably a control freak yourself. This is the time to think things over and forgive our moms. If we like it or not, our parenting style is often inherited. Often I hear myself repeating the exact same phrases to my son that my mom used to tell me when I was little. Oh my God, I became my mother! But is it so bad?

So today reflect on your relationship with your mom and plan a camping trip together.

Happy Mother’s Day!